deleting your social media accounts to punish ppl with a lack of your presence but then remaking two days later because the lack of attention drives you crazy
checking your fps’ accounts and feeling threatened when you see them talking to literally anyone else
some tumblr post: “platonic feelings are just as important as romantic/sexual ones!” (bpd voice) sounds fake but okay
being too exhausted/upset to fortify your mental filters and letting something petty/mean slip out, expecting punishment immediately
feel a mixture of relief and annoyance when the punishment never comes/reassurance is given in its place because wtf i did something wrong why aren’t you telling me i’m horrible tell me i’m horrible
losing spoons to harmless interactions that rubbed you the wrong way for reasons you can’t tell anyone
feeling ashamed for Literally Everything because you do everything too much
“what if words inflicted physical pain would the world be kinder” words do inflict physical pain because i have bpd dingus
splitting on your fps and then splitting on yourself right after
after years of being abused, manipulated, and gaslighted by other people, i honestly can’t wrap my mind around the concept that someone would actually want to be friends with me or spend time with me without some sort of ulterior motive ????
like
what’s the angle here, what joke am I going to be the punchline to this week??
